Barbara A. Russell - Memorial

TRIBUTE FOR BARBARA ANN RUSSELL

Always Giving…

1936 - 2006

Prelude: Barbra Streisand

 A tax consultant’s hands are at rest this tax season…but, with a lifetime of giving, Barbara Russell’s good deeds live on in so many ways.

We are here to celebrate the life of Barbara Russell. We are going to share stories, cry a little, and laugh a little, because that is the way Barbara would have wanted it. Losing a loved one is never easy. We think of the love of her life, Don…her children, Dale, Linda, and Gary…her grandchildren Garrett and Bryce. So many friends to remember…Barbara touched lives.

We remember the year of her birth in 1936...Franklin Delano Roosevelt was President of the United States. It was the decade of the Great Depression…which was a difficult time in history for everyone. The dirigible the Hindenburg was making history this year with its first transatlantic flight. The best seller at the time was a new book - Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell. Fame brought entertainers attention from Benny Goodman to Count Basie, Eugene O’Neill to Orson Welles. As we know, everyone has a story…

Barbara’s story began November 5 th, 1936. She was born at home in St. Louis, Missouri to Walter and Mary Olms. Given the name Barbara Ann Olms, she was child number five, of six children. Her siblings were: Betty, Margaret, Pat, Jack, and Walter. Barbara grew up in humble beginnings. Her father was a heavy haul truck driver, while her mother worked in a factory. She had to be at work when the whistle blew.

Both her parents endured long working hours. As a result, her Grandmother Alice saved her life by raising her with unconditional love. In fact, when her little toes would get cold, it was her Grandma Alice who tucked Barbara’s toes under her arms to keep them warm.

Beyond that, an egg was a luxury at the time due to the economic climate. For the rest of her life, if Barbara had eggs in her refrigerator - she knew she was okay.

She had many stories about riding the street cars, going to movies, and buying penny candy with Grandma Alice.

Barbara was a Catholic school girl. In fact, she went to church and Catholic school 7 days a week. She sang in the choir and even sang at funerals.

Later, she landed a job at a Catholic hospital as a candy striper. She spent her time caring for newborns with her older sister Margaret. Always giving.

At the age of 16, Barbara came to Los Angeles via route 66. When she was 17 years old, she became a model. In fact, she was a bra and underwear, lingerie fit model in Hollywood.

As a young lady, she took an aptitude test that recommended she become a code breaker. It was clear she was a great numbers cruncher.

On October 3 rd, 1952, Barbara eloped with Julius Shartsis. The young couple moved to Glendale to start their family. Children seemed the natural progression.

In 1958, the couple welcomed their first born, Dale, at Glendale Sanitarium and Hospital. That was the name of the hospital in those days. When Barbara’s mother heard the news and the location, she told relatives, “Barbara’s had a boy and she’s gone crazy!” There was always a story that would make you smile.

In 1959, Linda was their second born…and Gary followed in 1960. Both Linda and Gary were also born at the Sanitarium and Hospital.

Barbara worked hard for her kids over the years. She was dedicated to them…they’d pick out patterns and she’d sew fabric on her old 1909 Singer Treadle Sewing Machine. The kids especially remember projects like cowboy pajamas or the brownie dress for Linda. She sewed covers for couches…and worked hard with fabric and patterns. Barbara was a talented seamstress, especially on that Treadle.

At the family home, there were also pets for the kids. There was a dog named Sunday and a mynah bird named Charley.

Being a homemaker and mother to three children, Barbara was “The Queen of Make Do.” Everyone was always welcome at the family home. As a result, Barbara always made sure everyone had enough to eat. Sometimes they’d have 10 kids and 15 adults…Barbara made do. She’d run the stove while smoking a cigarette and drinking her coffee. If an extra 10 people showed up to eat - no problem. All were welcome. People were always dropping by to visit because Barbara radiated happiness no matter what. She was the one person who always held space open for people to come into her life.

She and her husband started a mechanics business in Glendale. Soon, Barbara handled the bookkeeping for the auto repair shop. She always made her children, the priority, taking wonderful care of them while they were starting a new business. Not an easy task to find a healthy balance and still make your children the priority.

She held Halloween parties and lots of kids would come from the neighborhood. She also held birthday parties for each child, decorating the dining room with streamers for these special events. Barbara was an event planner, always preparing for the next event. She was a collector of precious memories when it came to her children.

She was also supportive of the kids in school. She was on the PTA. She was also a cub scout mom and an assistant girl scout leader.

In-between business and school, there were family vacations in their blue Shasta travel trailer to California Lakes. Barbara was always the planner of the bunch. She would be so organized, she would even pack homemade sandwiches, which she’d wrap in wax paper. It was not the time of McDonalds on every corner…no, instead it was the time of Barbara’s planning ahead. On one of their camping trips, Barbara was cooking hash browns and eggs for 15 people. Kids were running around and there was Barbara in the midst of things asking, “Honey, does everybody have enough to eat?”

On another trip, the kids remember that their dad was an avid fisherman so they spent a lot of time by the water. There is actually a picture, though, of their Dad holding Barbara by her ankles as she is picking mussels off a barge in Long Beach. She told him, “Don’t let go, or I’ll kill you!” Holding her by the ankles…Yes, to Barbara, anything was possible.

When the family took on remodeling their home on Verdugo Road in Glendale, it was Barbara who became adept at mixing cement, roofing, gardening, and dry wall…while continuing the cooking, laundry, and tending to her kids.

Food played a big role in their family. Barbara matched an event to food. As they’d eat one meal, she was planning the next meal. It was the glue that held them together because it meant meeting time for everyone to share.

The hardest part of her life was about to come. The day she decided to leave her husband. She left him with only her children and never looked back. It would be difficult…but she didn’t care, she did it anyway. She did it for her children. She didn’t want her children to be exposed to the situation anymore and she saw more for her children. Soon, she was divorced and a single mom. She’d tell her kids:

“I won the lottery 3 times in my life with each of you.”

She did the right thing and she knew it would pay off for all of them in the long run. Clearly, she was a woman of great strength.

Barbara moved with the kids to start a new life. Her accounting career started at one firm on Glenoaks Boulevard with Barbara James. Later, she moved to the William Russell Tax service. She was a tax consultant and accountant. She could run an adding machine with the elegance of playing a concert piano. Her talents were clear.

But, she still made time for others. Linda remembers Barbara used to wear a special ring. She gave it to Linda to wear when she was a teenager. Linda gave it back to her mother and she never saw the ring again. Years later, she asked her mother what happened to the ring. Barbara told her the story of how she met a young woman in her late teens or early 20’s. The woman had just been through a series of tragedies and was depressed. Barbara gave her the special ring to keep. She told the young woman, “This is something to remind you that you are special…something to remind you that life is worth living.” A kind gesture is never forgotten.

In 1973, she went to Mexico to marry Bates Russell. She joked that they went to see a Bullfight, got married, and the bull was spared. With marriage, the family expanded to include step children: Susan, Michelle, Jean Marie, and Carter.

Both of her children, Linda and Gary, left home early…while Dale is the first to admit, he stayed late.

At 16, Gary went on to college at UCLA to study film. Gary always had a special connection with his mom…he didn’t talk to her every day, but he felt her support every single day. In a sense, she gave him permission to spread his wings and fly. She encouraged him to do what he wanted to do. In 1985, Gary began a career in the film industry as a Prop Master and Art Director, focusing on television commercials. Gary went on to marry the love of his life, Cheryl, at the Oakmont Country Club. Barbara was proud of both Gary and Cheryl.

Linda moved to Lake Tahoe and started a career with Harrah’s. Though miles separated them, they were never apart. In fact, they maintained daily phone calls for over 27 years which resulted in large phone bills. Guess what…it was worth every penny. Linda married Paul Bronken in Lake Tahoe and Barbara was the one hosting the elegant event with parties that went on for days.

Barbara was so excited when Linda shared the good news…she was expecting. Barbara was there for the births of both grandchildren…Garrett in 1994 and Bryce in 1996. Barbara was a special grandmother who showered them with endless love, devotion, and lots of kisses. The boys returned her love and gave her homemade cards and gifts that Barbara adored. Barbara loved her grandchildren and couldn’t see them enough.

Dale had a unique relationship with his mother. He went into business with Barbara. In fact, with the business side of things, he didn’t call her “mom” at work, he called her Barbara. They always had a mutual respect for each other. To share a business together, it was an amazing gift. In 1995, they joined together to start Russell Shartsis and Associates in Glendale. They developed a thriving business with many loyal clients. Their client base expanded over the years and became the family oriented business that it is today. Barbara was so proud of her son, Dale, who just recently passed the IRS enrolled agent exam.

Her kids said Barbara’s marriages always lasted 17 years. That’s just the way it was. In the 90’s, she was single. It was in 1994, Barbara met a special man at her birthday dinner. Don would be there by her side for the rest of her life. They were inseparable. Don was devoted to Barbara - even through her illness. When you ask Don about Barbara, tears well in his eyes. It was a relationship that was meant to be. They went on many trips over the years: A cruise to Mexico. Maui, Hawaii. Las Vegas, Nevada. But, they could also just sit at home and do a crossword puzzle or watch Barbara’s favorite show Jeopardy together. Barbara was always ready with the Jeopardy answer, shouting it out, almost before they could finish the question. Barbara and Don complimented each other in so many ways. It was always quality time together.

In Barbara’s position as tax consultant, her best asset was being able to listen. Barbara would say, “I never learned anything with my mouth open.” She was patient, caring, and could delve into a client’s problems by listening. She was a friend to all. She trained Dale how to do the same. She never distinguished between client and friend - to her, they were the same thing. Everyone who walked through the door got her attention. She made them feel heard. After 15 minutes with Barbara, they’d leave beaming. She wasn’t about the job and money…she focused on trust. In fact, when you think about it - Barbara was the most important person to some, because she became a confidante with sacred information. She never divulged anything from anyone - she was trustworthy. As we know in this room, throwing yourself on a stranger’s mercy with your trusted secrets is not easy. But, with Barbara, she made it almost therapeutic.

Barbara also radiated positive happiness. If you asked a random sample of her hundreds of clients, if Barbara loved them, they’d say yes. She said the words “I love you” more than a million times and she meant it every time. In fact, she hugged everyone. The reason she did so well in her business is that she had a profound connection to everyone. She was empathetic, but never owned other’s sadness. She couldn’t take their problems home. But, she had a presence. She also had terms of endearment, calling people “Honey,” or “Darling,” or “Babydoll.” As a result of her personal attention, she took care of generation after generation of families.

She also loved tax season. It was a big event in her life. Most people looked forward to seeing her every year at tax season and she lived for it. Sometimes she used sailor’s words to describe a situation…but, she couldn’t wait for tax season to come. By the end, she was exhausted…but it was always worth it.

Dale and Barbara worked out of the same office and yet the first person Dale called as he was leaving the office each day was Barbara. He probably called her 5,000 times when he was on his way home. In fact, Dale says she knew what was up with every detail of his life and participated in Dale’s life more than any mother should. When Dale nearly lost his battle with cancer, Barbara was thankful for the City of Hope in saving his life. With a cancer in which only 12 percent survive, Dale is a 5 year cancer survivor. Barbara was so thankful.

She had a special connection with each one of her children.

With Gary, it was Barbara who gave him the tools to allow him to pursue his dreams. Gary says she gave her kids reins to lead their own lives. She told them, “Hard work will lead to success.” She was right. At 16 and a half, Barbara trusted him to take care of himself. She was proud of him. Barbara always appreciated Gary’s talents as the family chef, too. She loved his Shrimp Scampi and Chicken Fried Steak. Her talents as host and entertainer were passed along to Gary.

When it came to Linda, Barbara went on trips to Lake Tahoe all the time. She went to celebrate her daughter’s birthdays and many Christmases. Last year, Barbara took the family to Disneyland and even went on the Indiana Jones ride without her oxygen.

Barbara inspired people by who she was. She was a person whose spirit and energy were larger than life. She was a spitfire…a free spirit. She knew swearing didn’t bar her from heaven. She loved drinking port. She loved drinking champagne until 3 in the morning. And, it is a reflection of the way she led her life because everyone liked her. She was a real person.

Gary used a great analogy…he told me every penny is tarnished a little, because no one is perfect. Barbara wasn’t perfect, but she always thought about how she treated others. That speaks volumes. My friends, death does not define us. Our deeds in life define us. Barbara had many good deeds.

Barbara Russell knew that the way you treat people are the gifts you leave behind. Her generosity and spirit were amazing - anything you wanted, you got help. She especially loved helping out those who were downtrodden, with her time, with her counseling, or with her generosity. She was the nicest person who gave of herself willingly…she had no agenda. She was always proud to give to her friends, family, and anyone who needed support. If you hung around long enough, you were part of her family.

When it came to taxes, Barbara never counted her own beans, her taxes were always done last. She kept working until the end. When it was suggested that she wouldn’t have to do their taxes this year, Barbara said she’d start a home office to continue her work. Barbara was passionate about her work. She used the opportunity to help people.

Barbara Russell knew that “Life is a journey.”

The last hours in her hospital room were filled with jokes and laughter from all of her family. She was filled with pure love.

In her final moments, Barbara was surrounded by her family. Linda was lying in bed with her. Gary, Dale, and Don were there with others. At one point, there were 13 people in her room at the City of Hope. Pavarotti was playing in the background. They all did one of the most powerful things that family can do in those moments: They gave her permission to go. Earlier, Gary had talked her through the process with the most amazing words of imagery…thoughts like:

“The air is sweet like milk, sip it in, sip it in…go to sleep, go to sleep.”

She never felt more calm in her whole life. As she passed away, Linda told her a family saying:

“Hubba-hubba Mom, drive safely.”

Linda had an overwhelming feeling of warmth after her mother passed away. The love of her life was there…All of her children were there…relatives and friends. In the end, Barbara Russell was not alone…her spirit lives on forevermore.

Barbara loved music. We listen now to one of her favorite songs, “Time to Say Goodbye,” as we remember Barbara’s life.

SONG - Time to Say Goodbye.

Barbara Russell’s way of being spiritual was by doing deeds. Linda has told her children that their Grandmother is an angel watching over them everyday. Barbara is not gone. She will live on in our hearts as a classy lady who cared about others without putting herself first. When it came to parties, she said, “The more, the merrier.” She lived her life that way as well. She is with us every step of the way.

Barbara’s son Gary recorded a personal message from the family. As Barbara is at rest, he shares a message from the heart.

DVD - Gary’s Message

Dale remembers that his mom was part of hundreds of families. She had been through births, deaths, generation after generation. She was realistic and optimistic. Yet, she was a fixer. She helped families and those around her fix things in their lives. When it came to being optimistic…I think Barbara said it all. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer in November. Then, on December 7 th, only a few weeks ago…she renewed her Auto Club membership for another year.

Linda says her mother taught her about giving to other people, gifts of love. She has continued that tradition with her children. She lets the kids buy trinkets and Grandma Barbara always got 2 trinkets. They were precious because they were from the heart.

Linda would like to share a moment about her mom.

SPEAKER - Linda Bronken

Barbara Russell was a person who led by example. She was non-judgmental. She was an elegant person who owned her confidence. Barbara learned from the best business people what the world was about. She was hard working, honest, and had great ethics. She had a positive image and did it with class and flair. She made so much out of what she had.

Linda’s husband Paul has been working hard on a special tribute for Barbara’s service, to honor her memory. Part of that process was putting her life’s pictures together with music. We watch this special memory presentation now as we realize the power of each photo and each memory.

DVD - Memory Presentation

I have never met a family so proud of a parent. Her children organized an amazing tribute for Barbara this day. We invite a special message from her son, Dale.

SPEAKER - Dale Shartsis

Our soloist is going to sing one of the greatest pieces of music ever written. It is a song of beauty, peace, and comfort. Together, we remember Barbara Russell is now at peace.

SOLO - Ave Maria

Memorial donations are welcome to the City of Hope. Barbara wanted this. She was passionate about the City of Hope. It is in her memory that donations are invited as Barbara wanted to thank the City of Hope for saving her son, Dale…and for her own treatment.

This day, we remember Barbara with her pictures, with her music, and with her stories.

The following is a responsive reading. After each line, please respond with the words, “We Remember Barbara.”

We Remember Barbara

In the rising of the sun and in its going down,

We remember Barbara.

In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,

We remember Barbara.

In the opening of the buds and in the warmth of summer,

We remember Barbara.

In the rustling of leaves and the beauty of autumn,

We remember Barbara.

In the beginning of the year and when it ends,

We remember Barbara.

When we are lost and sick at heart,

We remember Barbara.

When we have joys we yearn to share,

We remember Barbara.

So long as we live, she too shall live, for she is now a part of us as

We remember Barbara.

Barbara Russell lived through terms of 12 Presidents in the United States…The Berlin Wall went up and came down…wars began and ended during her life…NASA sent a man to the moon…tax laws changed dramatically over the decades…there were thousands of inventions during her lifetime, from color television to hearing aids to a vaccine for Polio. She also lived through her own history…which included Grandma Alice, three wonderful children, two fabulous grandchildren, a companion with her until her final days…and many loving clients and friends.

In closing, the prelude music used today was hand-chosen by her family because Barbra Streisand is one of Barbara Russell’s favorite singers. The postlude music used upon exit is the last music Barbara heard in her closing moments: Pavarotti.

The family invites you to attend a reception at the Glendale Hilton immediately following this service. If you have a story or memory to share about Barbara, there will be an opportunity at the reception. We welcome you to pay your final respects and greet the family as you exit the church. On behalf of Forest Lawn and the family, we thank you for coming.

Postlude: Pavarotti

In lieu of flowers we ask that a donation in her honor be made to,

City of Hope National Medical Center

Barbara Russell Memorial Fund

1055 Wilshire Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90017

Attention: Suzanne Lazarus